The holiday season is officially over.
.
This was the first Christmas where I lived in my own home that I was so excited to decorate! We went to Wally World and picked out a snow frosted tree (sounds tacky but I swear its GORG) I bought color coordinating ornaments, ribbons, tree skirt, I mean I really went all out. I put a few balls on the tree and was OVER IT! The ribbons never made it out of the bag and the tree skirt looked more like a burlap sack I found in the trenches of our shed.
I really wanted to make cookies, because that's exactly what you are supposed to do when Santa is coming, but yep that didn't happen either. We even bought a brand new kitchen aid mixer that I promised to use as often as possible, and so far my 4 year old niece has used it more than I have.
Bottom line, I didn't do a darn thing that I told my self I needed to do for the holidays. And this is when I realized that although that stuff is fun and sure it's tradition, none of it really matters. This was the first Christmas that my sister and I spent with out our Mom. Maybe that's why it was so hard for me to get myself to do the things that we grew up doing with her, or maybe I'm just lazy!! But in all honesty, Christmas was tough this year, like really tough, but I looked around and saw so many people around me smiling and laughing, and I started to realize that I am not the only one who has gone through this exact feeling. In fact, almost everyone in my family has, because we all lost her, and we did it together. So if you are going through the seasons wishing that one person you lost could be there for one more Christmas or birthday you should realize (as cheesy as it sounds) that they ARE there. Not in spirit form, and no it's not them when the lights flicker or anything supernatural happens...they are there in the hearts of everyone that knew them, and everyone who goes out of their way to spend time with you.
For me, this Christmas my Mom lived in the hearts of my Dad, my 2nd mom Lori (I don't like the term "step"), my brothers and sisters, my Gran Gran and Paw who came to visit, Gramma Con, my Momma's sister Aunt Lisa and Uncle Kevin, and all of my other Aunt's, Uncle's, Cousins, and Friends. Most importantly she was in the heart of my nephew Ollie. He doesn't know it yet but he is the main reason our family has dealt with such a tremendous loss with grace and compassion. In a time where we were all fully prepared to give up and lose hope in happiness, she gave us Ollie. From the second he was born he had a smile on his face, and there it remained. He is the definition of pure bliss and being able to look forward to seeing him is what has kept me going since last February.
I don't really know if this will matter to anyone, but I think if you have gone through a big loss than at least some of this will ring true in your life as well. Wanted to start this blog off being raw and real this has become a part of my life that has changed me and the way I think about certain things now. I promise that I will post fun stuff on here and really want people to get something from my experiences.
As always comments and critics welcome!
Simon Says,
Stay Hopeful
.
This was the first Christmas where I lived in my own home that I was so excited to decorate! We went to Wally World and picked out a snow frosted tree (sounds tacky but I swear its GORG) I bought color coordinating ornaments, ribbons, tree skirt, I mean I really went all out. I put a few balls on the tree and was OVER IT! The ribbons never made it out of the bag and the tree skirt looked more like a burlap sack I found in the trenches of our shed.
I really wanted to make cookies, because that's exactly what you are supposed to do when Santa is coming, but yep that didn't happen either. We even bought a brand new kitchen aid mixer that I promised to use as often as possible, and so far my 4 year old niece has used it more than I have.
Bottom line, I didn't do a darn thing that I told my self I needed to do for the holidays. And this is when I realized that although that stuff is fun and sure it's tradition, none of it really matters. This was the first Christmas that my sister and I spent with out our Mom. Maybe that's why it was so hard for me to get myself to do the things that we grew up doing with her, or maybe I'm just lazy!! But in all honesty, Christmas was tough this year, like really tough, but I looked around and saw so many people around me smiling and laughing, and I started to realize that I am not the only one who has gone through this exact feeling. In fact, almost everyone in my family has, because we all lost her, and we did it together. So if you are going through the seasons wishing that one person you lost could be there for one more Christmas or birthday you should realize (as cheesy as it sounds) that they ARE there. Not in spirit form, and no it's not them when the lights flicker or anything supernatural happens...they are there in the hearts of everyone that knew them, and everyone who goes out of their way to spend time with you.
For me, this Christmas my Mom lived in the hearts of my Dad, my 2nd mom Lori (I don't like the term "step"), my brothers and sisters, my Gran Gran and Paw who came to visit, Gramma Con, my Momma's sister Aunt Lisa and Uncle Kevin, and all of my other Aunt's, Uncle's, Cousins, and Friends. Most importantly she was in the heart of my nephew Ollie. He doesn't know it yet but he is the main reason our family has dealt with such a tremendous loss with grace and compassion. In a time where we were all fully prepared to give up and lose hope in happiness, she gave us Ollie. From the second he was born he had a smile on his face, and there it remained. He is the definition of pure bliss and being able to look forward to seeing him is what has kept me going since last February.
I don't really know if this will matter to anyone, but I think if you have gone through a big loss than at least some of this will ring true in your life as well. Wanted to start this blog off being raw and real this has become a part of my life that has changed me and the way I think about certain things now. I promise that I will post fun stuff on here and really want people to get something from my experiences.
As always comments and critics welcome!
Simon Says,
Stay Hopeful
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